Jean: RCMP security
Michele Munteau - Personal stylist to the PM
Laureen Harper - aged 47
Benjamin Harper - aged 15
Rachel Harper - aged 11
Tim Wassylko - head chef 24 Sussex
Jenni Byrne - Conservative party campaign manager
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Ben: “Good morning Tim! What’s for breakfast?”
Tim: “Good morning, Ben. I’m not sure. Is your father up yet?”
Ben: “He’s with Michele, The refrigerator broke and daddy’s hair thawed. What’s a ‘cat-as-trophy?”
Tim: “Well, Ben, a catastrophe is just a challenge in disguise. Don’t you know how much your father hates it when you jump down the stairs?”
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Rachel: “Good morning, snotrag.”
Tim: “Good morning, Rachel.”
Rachel: “I wasn’t talking to you, Tim.”
Ben:“Ouch! Quit it Rachel! Is dad coming?”
Rachel: “Freezer. Hair. Catastrophe.”
Jean: “Rachel, please don’t hurry so much on the stairs.”
Rachel: “Relax, Jean. I’ve been here for five years. Is the car ready?”
Jean: “Five minutes. Is your father coming?”
Ben: “He’ll be ready as soon as we fuigre out a way to apply liquid nitrogen to hair folicles without discolouration.”
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Tim: “What’s for breakfast, Mr. Prime MInister?”
Stephen: “Good morning, Tim. I think we’ll just have - “
Jenni: “Don’t answer that question!”
Stephen: “Jenni? How did you get in here? We weren’t scheduled to meet until - “
Jean: “Mr. Prime Minister, I don’t know how she got past the gate, I-”
Stephen: “That’s fine Jean. It’s alright. Is everything ready?”
Jean: “Yes sir, we’re ready to go any time you’re ready.”
Rachel: “Daddy, what is she doing here?”
Jenni: “Oh it’s okay, Ben. My name is Jenni Byrne and I’m here to help your father.”
Stephen: “Jenni, I hardly see how you can be helpful at breakfast. I-”
Jenni: “Here’s my card, Rachel.”
Rachel: “Can I colour on it?”
Jenni: “Sure you can, Rachel. Just don’t let your friends colour on it. Only you can colour on it and never use the colour red.”
Rachel: “Okay, Jenny.”
Stephen: “I still don’t understand why you’re here, Jenni. We aren’t scheduled to meet for another two hours. What is - “
Jenni: “Stephen, I think that we’ve lost the edge on our breakfast image among Canadians.”
Stephen: “Breakfast image?”
Jenni: “Yes, breakfast image. A great deal of Canadians’ political decisions are made between the hours of 1am and 10am, usually with a cup of coffee in their hand.”
Stephen: “And so?”
Jenni: “So, Mr. Prime Minister, we have t meet the electorate half way. We must exhibit strong control not only over the message that Canadians receive over breakfast, we must exert control over breakfast in Canada itself.”
Rachel: “Daddy can I eat yet?”
Stephen: “Just a second, Rachel. What are you getting at, Jenni?”
Jenni: “Sir, we have 14 days left in his campaign. If we let the people of Canada know that you were eating the same things as them we could turn the Nanos by 2.5%”
Ben: “Dad I’m hungry!”
Rachel: “Tim?”
Tim: “Yes Rachel?”
Rachel: “Can I have some orange juice?”
Jenni: “Not a good idea, Tim”
Tim: “Jenni, you can’t be serious.”
Stephen: “What do you mean, Jenni?”
Jenni: “Mr. Prime Minister, the communities in which your candidates have the best chance of
swinging the riding away from either the NDP or Liberals have a concentration of one Tim Horton’s store per every 2,500 residents.”
Jean: “Isn’t that the same ratio of citizens to prisoners that we’re aiming for?”
Jenni: “That’s enough out of you, Jean. When I want to know how to tase a Polak to death, I’ll ask your opinion.”
Stephen: “So you think I should be drinking Timmie’s every morning?”
Jenni: “Not just you, Stephen, but everybody.”
Stephen: “Jenni, you can’t expect me to give coffee to an 11 year old.”
Jenni: “I’m just putting it out there, Mr. Prime Minister. Timmie’s could be the key to winning over the tirekickers in Medicine Hat and the rust collars in Windsor.”
Stephen: “Just a second, Tim. Ben, you remember when we went camping last year, don’t you?.”
Ben: “Yeah, dad, the bats scared me.”
Stephen: “But you remember in the morning I let you have some coffee? You loved it!”
Ben: “I loved being alive. Not much else.”
Jenni: “Let me try, Mr. Harper. Rachel - here try this.”
Rachel: “I don’t want that!”
Stephen: “Try it, just once for your father, Rachel.”
Rachel: “I don’t want to!”
Stephen: “C’mon sugarplumb, just give it a try.”
Jenni: “See, how hard was that?”
Rachel: “Daddy, it tastes like crying!”
Tim: “Sir, we have the facilities of a 3 star restaurant. Are we really going to-”
Jenni: “Are you better than Timmie`s, Tim?”
Tim: “No, Jenni, I just think that the Prime Minister’s family has more choice than-”
Jenni: “Not while I’m here, Tim!”
Jean: “Sir, are we ready to go?”
Stephen: “Just a few minutes, Jean.”
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