20110323

PiMp game

“Hey Canada! I see you walking there. Don’t pretend like you can’t hear me. Get your ass over here. Have you been workin’ like I told you, girl? Bitch, I know you’ve been working, ‘cause I’ve been stimulatin’ up and down this block. You see those signs? That’s right - stimulation! The green is for the money and the blue is for me - Sticky Fingers Stephen Slim, Sheik Harper Gates. You had better recognize!

Well you know what time it is now - don’t you pretend you don’t know how this game works! It’s tax time and I gotta get my money. I’ve got to be suited and booted and it’s time to pay. Right now I want the grand slam, you heard?

Contempt of Parliament? Girl who have you been talking to? You know I’m only twirlin’, kickin’ the game around. This PiMp game is as old as the two of us together times two, and I’m just kicking it the way it’s always been done. And aren’t you forgetting the rules? Never let them know how much dough you hold. Those other wanna be PiMps are just hating on me ‘cause my game is so correct.

C’mon baby, you know you can’t be thinking like that. It’s you and me against the world, girl. Standing tall through it all, you know what I’m saying? We in the minority here, girl. Don’t nobody else understand us.

And what the hell you think you gonna do without me? Go back to Shawinigan? Sling tricks for ad executives that don’t even have a real job? I know you don’t want to go back to that. Stick with me and I’ll take you around the world: Washington, Sendai, Tripoli - you know how we do. We’ll be ballin’ in style - I’m talking jets girl. I mean the lap of luxury - Lear Jets, F-35s. Only the best for me and mine. Don’t be asking me how much that costs, it ain’t your business to know.

RCMP? Does it look like I’m worried about them? Sheeeeeit, they are just hating on a PiMp cause I’m sharing my ends with my friends 'cross country. Yeah, they have to give the money back, but that’s how it works, baby. In and out, in and out, gotta keep the money moving.

Don’t I treat you good, Canada? I keep your houses warm and your little kid on the hockey team. And you want to forget that? Girl, you must have lost your god-damned mind. Health care? What do you need with health care? You know we can’t afford the jets and the healthcare. It’s gots to be one or the other. You out here working the streets every day - put a coat on! That’s your health care. Me, I gotta get paid!

So now that we’ve got an election you’re just going to forget all the things I do for you? Get rid of me? How in the hell you gonna get rid of me? I brought this PiMp game to a whole other level. Coalition? Bitch, who taught you that word? I swear if I hear that word again I will slap you in your separatist mouth. I know you’d rather eat beans and rice with me than sit down for steaks with fakes an-

Girl, where the hell you going? Come back here, girl!

Girl?

Canada?”

1 comment:

  1. This one's hilarious-should get broader circulation!

    ReplyDelete